Aside from your finances, your self-esteem can take a real beating during the process of a divorce, especially if your ex was a narcissist. But as a divorced human, you need your self-esteem to be at its best for the new and exciting journey ahead. In your new life, higher self-esteem will act as a superpower by buffering out all those “hurts” we feel more intensely when our self-image is lower.
After a divorce, higher self-esteem is like the energy from the sun in your life, and low self-esteem is like ‘kryptonite.”‘ It is important to lift yourself up, and it can be done. Higher self-esteem helps the hurt heal.The healing process is different for everyone. No two people will act and react to a divorce in the same manner. Some people couldn’t care less. Some other’s feel as if their lives are over. There are a few who have not yet realized what hit them. And then those who deny that they had any wrongdoing in the event. I’m sure there are hundreds more.
But regardless of your hurt, improving your self-esteem will boost you to unimaginable heights. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It matters if you have children, because you want to be an example for them. But the reality is that this is for you. It is your time to shine. Easier said than done, right? Wrong. There is so much you can do to improve, boost, and ultimately fully blast your self-esteem. Doing absolutely nothing is unacceptable at all levels.
You can start by re-framing all those pesky negative thoughts into positive ones. Develop a newly and revitalizing outlook on life. Think positive. Accept that things happen, and they happen for a reason, that the troubling part is behind, and you can now move on with your life. Realize that you’re not responsible for other people’s moods and actions.
This is where you re-frame all those old “I wish I could …” or “wouldn’t it be great if …” and start pushing yourself to stay with more positive and action-packed thoughts. “I am going to do …” “It’s going to be awesome when I …” Remember what truly makes you happy and triplicate those thoughts and memories in your head so that you can convert them into actions. It feels good.
When your self-esteem is steel strong as superman’s, you can begin pushing yourself to start new endeavors. How? Well, it’s easy now that you left the negative thoughts behind. Think about all the things you’ve always wanted to do, and go do them. Do you have a bucket list? Do you like running? Swimming? How about training and competing in a marathon. Perhaps a pottery class or something different like a shooting class?
The idea is that you get into and follow through with something you did not think was possible to achieve. If you have some disposable cash, why not start a small business doing something you love or you know you’re good at? Or you can get a job where you feel valued. Good work environment makes us more lively, more positive, more productive and creative. Believe that you can do it and you will. It’s that simple. I’m serious. Stop rolling your eyes back like that. You can do it. You know it.
After you master this push, you can embark in new endeavors to further strengthen your self-esteem. How? Well, if you try something new, different and exciting, it will help you find hidden talents and strengths you have not yet tapped into. Don’t believe me? Try it. Follow your strengths to success as if it was a talent you were trying to perfect.
We live in an era where dreams are more attainable that ever. Whatever your passion has been, now is the time to milk it to the max. Writing down your strengths might help you. Perhaps you like to cook. What about painting? Fixing cars? Perhaps you dream is to recondition a 1960’s Mustang. This is the perfect time to treat yourself to the realization of your dreams, courtesy of your strength and high self-esteem.
Most divorces are good civilized divorces, but for those out there who took the brunt of the process, post-divorce attitude change is the only recipe for success, unless, of course, you find a free or otherwise inexpensive therapist that can see you daily. I believe that re-framing negative thoughts is the first step forward.
Once your thoughts and attitude have changed, you can start pushing yourself to begin the new chapter in your life following your strengths to success, and learning from your weaknesses to steer away from failure. It sounds simple because it is. Try it. Follow it. You can do it. You will be surprise at what you can accomplish.